


You'll be in my Heart

by leafyxthiefy



Series: Rare Pairs Week 2016 [4]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Brother Feels, Bullies, Denial, Disney Songs, Incest, M/M, Secret love, um read the warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8330113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leafyxthiefy/pseuds/leafyxthiefy
Summary: Doflamingo is aware that what he feels is forbidden. He loves his brother more than life itself. And still, the heart wants the hearts wants; and his is set on Rocinante.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Let's delve into Day 4 of Rare Pair Week, shall we?~
> 
> Song / Movie: You'll be in my Heart - Tarzan
> 
> Theme/Focus: Childhood/Memories
> 
> Warnings: Incest. Plain and simple people, don't like it there's the back button.
> 
> I own neither One Piece nor any Disney stuff. Enjoy!~

Doflamingo held his head high and rose his fists, ignoring the pain that flared across his torn and bloodied knuckles and his bruising cheek. He was not going to back down from these kids, no matter how many years they had over him.

He knew what he had walked into the moment he had thrown the first punch. Doflamingo _knew_ exactly what sort of people he was dealing with when he set his green eyes on them.

Bullies.

"Tch, c'mon guys they aren't worth it." The ringleader muttered after a long minute of facing off in a staring contest with Doflamingo. Perhaps he found something unnerving in those fierce green eyes, or maybe he had gotten bored with his targets and decided to find easier prey. Doflamingo didn't care, he was just glad to see them leave.

As soon as the older kids were gone from the schoolyard, a small hand reached out and tugged on Doflamingo's shirt, the small child sniffled as he clung onto his older brother. Doffy didn't need to see to know that his little brother was doing his absolute best not to cry, and was failing miserably. He simply knew him that well.

Doflamingo turned and was met with the watery blue eyes of his younger brother, "D-Doffy." the small child said in between sniffles as he reached out and touched Doflamingo's swollen cheek.

Doflamingo smiled softly as he shook his head, and took his brother's smaller hand in his " _Come stop your crying, it will be all right. Just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here don't you cry."_

The younger Donquixote brother rubbed at his eyes with his free hand, swiping at his tears while nodding as bravely as he could.

Doflamingo smiled despite the flaring protest of his cheek, and ruffled his brother's curly blonde hair as he lead them home. "Let's go home now, Roci. I'm sure mother must be worried."

Rocinante nodded and followed after his older brother.

A short while later saw the pair of brothers home to a fussing mother. And though his mother was surprised to see them come home in such a disheveled state, it wasn't exactly their first time nor–Doflamingo suspected–the last to come. Bullies seemed to always target his younger brother for one reason or another, and Rocinante was too kind and soft to fight back, so Doflamingo had to step in.

Doflamingo had to protect his younger brother. It was his duty as an older brother to watch over him and get him out of trouble. This was something he had known from long ago, ever since they were younger.

Doflamingo had been two when Roci was born into the family, and ever since the younger could walk they have been inseparable.

Doflamingo never minded his presence, on the contrary, he loved having Rocinante around. The way Rocinante admired Doflamingo not only fueled his ego, but also made him feel needed, wanted, loved.

_For one so small, you seem so strong_

_My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm_

_This bond between us, can't be broken_

_I will be here don't you cry_

As time went on, Doflamingo continued to protect Rocinante from the world, when the older kids came to pick on him, he was only a few feet behind and fought tooth and nail until the offenders backed down. And when Roci needed help in any sort of subject, Doffy was there to help and tutor him.

Rocinante was a smart kid though, and very soon his studies paved a road of success for him. And the bullies became few and far between, and soon Doflamingo's presence was no longer so needed.

_Cause you'll be in my heart (you'll be in)_

_Yes you'll be in my heart (you'll be in my heart)_

_from this day on, now and forever more_

And it was in that time of absence that Doflamingo came to realize a very dark truth about himself.

Throughout his years in highschool, Doffy came to realize two things, one was that he could never conform to what the world considered as _normal_. He was an eccentric bastard, and quickly became used to being the center of attention, he was known throughout the entire school and he loved that, but the only person he wanted to be the focus of attention to was Rocinante.

The other revelation he had about himself was that he was not only attracted to the same gender as his own, but that he was in love with his younger brother. Doflamingo knew that such a thing would never be approved of.

No one was ready for him to expose his secret. Society would see him as a freak and monster, and his family, well it was hard for him to decide how they would react, repulsed? Horrified? Would they shun him, disown him, send him to a psych ward and try to figure out what lay behind his unhealthy fascination with his younger brother?

Doflamingo didn't know, and despite his usually outgoing and flamboyant behavior, he could not bring himself to ever let go of this secret. He let it consume him, and before he knew it, Doflamingo started to head down a dark and jaded path.

* * *

 

Rocinante had grown up in Doflamingo's shadow for the majority of his life, his brother had always been the radiant, outgoing one. Doffy was the one who had the most friends, was bold and daring, he was everything that Rocinante wasn't. He was strong and independant, and Roci admired him for that. He wanted to be like his older brother, he wanted to be acknowledged by him, he wanted… what?

Rocinante was quicker to realize a few truths about himself. He knew without a doubt that he was not attracted to women, they scared him in a way that he could not explain. They were intimidating and for some reason or another, they found interest in him. Rocinante of course did his best to avoid them and when the inevitable came, he would have to turn them down from dances, dates, movies and so forth.

He was interested in men. He prefered their company to that of women, and still he could find no one he loved as much as his older brother.

Rocinante was in love with Doflamingo and he did not know how to deal with that.

In time, he was forced to watch as Doffy became more and more distant, heading out with his deviant friends and getting into all sorts of trouble. It started off small, loitering, theft, breaking and entering; and before the family knew it, Doffy moved out to do his own thing while Roci went off to college.

It wasn't until Roci was a semester into his studies as a school teacher when he decided he could no longer keep living his lie. His studies had kept him too busy, and he had no funds for the ten hour long commute needed in order for him to visit his brother.

He supposed another variable also played in the matter of his absence, and that was a sort of heart wrenching hope that his feelings over his brother would fade and cease to exist. Perhaps with distance between him and Doflamingo, Rocinante would see reason and finally see that what he felt for his blood, his kin, his _brother_ was not right.

The feeling hadn't faded, however, instead they became stronger and Rocinante could no longer put off his reuniting with Doflamingo anymore. So he dismissed his classes for the day and took off.

He took the first train he could catch to Dressrosa and boarded. The time Rocinante spent on his journey was blurred into a nervous mess. And within that same time frame Roci had wrung his hands a million times over and had gone over the many possible scenarios in his head. The two brothers had been estranged for nearly half a year to the date, so he had no idea just what to expect.

Hours later, Roci set foot upon the city of Dressrosa and checked the weathered piece of paper he had scribbled Doffy's address onto before leaving for college. With the help of a few people, Rocinante was able to make it to the lavish apartment his brother was occupying and after taking the elevator, he stood before the door.

Rocinante wouldn't be able to say how long he stood out there, it could have been fifteen minutes, and hour, or perhaps more. But in time, he finally gathered enough courage to knock on the door.

A minute passed, and Rocinante's heart sped up with every second that he was forced to wait.

Maybe Doffy was asleep, sure that could have been the case, maybe Roci should come back in a few hours with some coffee and donuts. He could bring Doflamingo's favorite pie too, as a peace offering.

As soon as he came to that conclusion, the door opened and Roci's blue eyes lit up as did his smile, though instead of the blonde he had been expecting to appear, there was someone else.

The man before Roci was several inches shorter than him. The man's dark hair was a mess, and he was working with a rather interesting beard that greatly resembled lightning bolts. But other than that, he was wearing nothing but his boxers and sported quite a straining–

"Can I help you?" The man asked with clear impatience.

"Ah, no!" Rocinante started, blushing furiously as he cleared his throat and started to back away from the stranger, "No, no I'm sorry I must have the wrong add–"

"Vergo, darling?" Another voice cut off Rocinante and rooted him to where he stood.

"Who's at the door?" the man asked as he draped himself around the dark haired man, his arms wrapping around his hips while the rest of his bare body pressed into him from behind.

"He was just leaving, actually." The man, Vergo, mumbled and made to close the door, but that was when it happened. Green eyes looked up from the bitten flesh to meet misted blue ones.

"Shit, shit. Fuck! Roci."

It was too late though, Rocinante had already turned and ran.

Rocinante didn't get far before he tripped on his own two feet. And still he picked himself up as hard as it was, angrily wiping at his eyes that teared up because, what? His brother had found someone he liked, maybe even _loved_ if he was willingly hugging him as he did.

He should be happy for Doffy, he should be elated that his brother had found a potential person to settle down with and have a life with. And yet, all he felt were emotions he did not know he was even capable of feeling.

_Why can't they understand the way we feel (the way we feel)_

_They just don't trust what they can't explain (you'll be in my heart)_

_I know we're different, but deep inside us_

_We're not that different at all_

* * *

 

Doflamingo cursed every single name in the book to hell and back as he ran to where his boxers were discarded and placed them on hastily before heading to the door.

"Get the fuck out of here, we're done!" Doflamingo roared as he pushed past Vergo and gave chase to his brother.

It didn't take long to find Roci, the elevator was not running so that was out of the question, and he knew his brother was not going to attempt to run down the stairs when he was so terribly clumsy. So that only left up as a viable option.

Doflamingo climbed three steps at a time as he headed to the roof, and once he got there Doffy all but banged the door open.

And that was where he found him. Rocinante was seated on a bench in the middle of the garden the apartment complex maintained for it's guests.

_And you'll be in my heart_

Doflamingo's heart twisted in his chest, and he almost retreated, but he couldn't. So instead he did what he knew in his heart he should do. He walked over to Roci.

"I–I'm sorry for barging in on you. I probably should have called before just dropping by." Rocinante rambled on and Doflamingo sat beside him.

"Don't be sorry, Roci… Vergo, what you saw–" he stopped himself and ran a hand through his disheveled hair, "Fuck, Roci. Don't apologize, please. Vergo and I just–"

"I'd love to meet him." Rocinante cut in, smiling as best he could even though Doflamingo could see the strain in the action. "He did seem like a nice guy, does he make you happy Doffy?"

_Yes you'll be in my heart_

Doflamingo was silent for a moment and hung his head. "It isn't like that Rocinante. Vergo and I aren't like that. We fuck occasionally, but that doesn't make him anything more. He's nothing more than an acquaintance."

Rocinante frowned and Doflamingo shook his head, "There's nothing more to it Roci, it was a one night stand turned to multiple nights. And I'm sorry you had to witness that."

"It's fine Doffy, really, who am I to dictate how you live your life, and if you keep seeing this man, don't you think that you might have more feelings for him than you claim?" Rocinante murmured looking away from Doflamingo and towards the skyline where the moon shone bright, illuminating the roof they shared.

_From this day on, now and forever more_

"Feelings for Vergo?" Doflamingo echoed and snorted, "I'm sorry Roci, darling, but that is not possible. Sure the man is attractive and he is– well never mind what he is good at, but I hold no feelings for him other than some sort of friendship… but what about you? How's class going? Are you alright, is that what this impromptu visit has lead to?"

Rocinante was silent for a long minute before he sighed and rested his head on Doflamingo's shoulder. "Classes are as you'd expect, nothing over nor underwhelming about them. And the campus is as you'd expect: extravagant, filled with a bunch of bookworms and jocks, quite reminiscent of high school. But no I'm fine, that's not why I'm here though. I just… I really wanted to see you Doffy, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Roci." An hour of silence seemed to pass between the two brothers until Doflamingo spoke up. "And I'm sorry for…" he gestured around them.

"Sorry for what? Wanting something else than what we had?" Rocinante asked, "Mother and father don't blame you, you know. They understood, and I did too. You wanted to escape and become your own person, yes we wish it had been in a less destructive way, but as long as you're happy, then we are too."

"But I'm not." the words were barely above a whisper and for a moment Doflamingo doubted he had even spoken them out loud.

Rocinante had heard though, "What do you mean you aren't. Are you not happy Doffy?"

"No."

Doflamingo felt rather than saw Roci's hand reach for his, he shied away the first time, but on the second try, he held Doffy's hand just as they had done so many years ago. "Then why stay Doffy, why not return home, or go somewhere where you _will_ be happy?"

"For what purpose, Roci? I'll be miserable wherever I go."

"You weren't always miserable Doffy," Rocinante whispered. "We used to be happy up until a few years ago… what happened?"

Doflamingo frowned as he thought back to those days and stalled his answer. "Things were… less complicated back then Roci, I wasn't miserable because–" he paused and swallowed thickly. "Because I had you, Roci."

Silence stretched between them, and Doflamingo readied himself to take back his answer, but before he could do so, Rocinante spoke again. "You've always had me Doffy, we're brothers and I'm never going anywhere."

"But you did leave." his words were sullen, even to his own ears.

"I did." Rocinante agreed and his hand held Doflamingo's tighter for a moment. "But that didn't mean that I left left, I'm still here for you Doffy. I will always be here for you because, I love you."

" _Don't say that!_ " Doflamingo snapped in a much harsher tone than he had meant to and immediately regretted it when he felt Roci flinch away. The warmth at his shoulder left subsequently and Doflamingo felt even more guilty.

"But I do love you, Doffy." the whisper mixed into the night and Doflamingo was left conflicted.

Years of suppressing his love for his brother stirred in his soul and Doflamingo had to stop himself from saying anything else he knew he would come to regret.

That was the reason he had started acting out. It was the reason he left. Because he couldn't handle being so close to his brother without wanting more. He couldn't, no he _wouldn't_ ruin Roci like that.

Never.

"Doflamingo?" A timid voice asked from beside him, and he turned to it, unable to deny his attention to his younger brother, especially not when he used his name instead of his endearing nickname.

"I came to see you, because I need to get something off of my chest…" he began and Doflamingo's brow furrowed. "And to be quite honest, I don't know where to begin. Or how to exactly say it… So I'll just say it. Doffy, I love you."

Doflamingo sighed and ran a hand through the wavy locks of his brothers hair. "Of course you do, Roci. I love you too it's what family does." He said thickly, his voice rough as he said that statement more for himself rather than Rocinante.

"You're not listening to me, Doffy!" Rocinante yelled in such a way that had the elder regarding him cautiously. Roci rarely yelled, if ever and when he did. There was something clearly amiss.

"I love you. I love you more than I should, more than anyone should love their sibling. All this time that we have been apart has been an absolute Hell, I _loathed_ being away from you, not being able to see you, or talk to you, or to just be near you. I thought that if I could give this time, and just _realize_ that it was wrong, then I would be able to see reason… But what I felt hasn't changed. And when I saw that man earlier…" he trailed off, lowering his head in shame.

Whilst Doflamingo could only feel himself sink into nothingness. Every fear that he had ever known was shared by his brother, the one person he had sheltered from his feelings. Everything that Doflamingo had kept close to his heart, and had long ago locked away was being dredged up from the deepest, darkest part of his soul and he didn't know how to deal with that.

But that would have to wait, for in that moment, Doffy had to see to his younger brother. He had to make him smile and lighten his heart before he could figure his out.

"Roci, I-"

"Please don't, Doffy. Honestly, I'm sort of… Relieved that I found out… Because that just means that I'm the broken on-"

"Stop that, Rocinante!" Doflamingo furiously cut in and brought up Roci's lowered face. "You are not broken, you are not defective in anyway, nor are you wrong. You're perfect Roci, you always have been. And I love you for that."

Doflamingo brought his brother into an embrace and smoothed back the golden curls as he added. "I love you too, Roci. I always have, I just…"

"You thought it was wrong too." Rocinante finished for him, and Doflamingo could only give the barest of nods.

"Who says we're wrong about this Doffy? Society? The very same one who taught people long ago that attraction between different nations and genders was wrong? Who are they to tell anyone what is right and what is not when we know what love is?" Rocinante whispered as he held onto his brother.

" _Don't listen to them, cause what do they know?"_ he added in the same quiet tone. " _We need each other, to have, to hold. They'll see in time, I know they will."_

Doflamingo had to laugh, "Thats quite an odd look to have on this situation. Don't you think, Roci?"

"I suppose Doffy, but even you can't deny that when _When destiny calls, you must be strong."_ Rocinante said with so much conviction that any and all protests Doflamingo could come up with were discarded and forgotten in the back of his mind.

_I may not be with you, but you got to hold on._

_They'll see in time, I know they will_

_We'll show them together, cause_

"' _You'll be in my heart'_ isn't that what you once told me Doffy?" the younger man asked as he pulled away just enough to look at Doflamingo.

And the older of the two had to smile.

_(oh baby)_

Indeed. He had said that in their youth. _"_ Roci, you've never left my heart. Not once. I meat what I said just as I mean it now. Rocinante, _You'll be in my heart. From this day on, now and forever more."_

"Nor have you ever left mine, Doffy." the younger of the Donquixote brothers assured him. " _Always, I'll be with you. I'll be there."_

" _I'll be there. I'll be there for you always, always."_ Doflamingo echoed as he held Rocinante closer. His mind and soul finally at peace that he was with the one he was meant to be with.

_Just look over your shoulder_

_Just look over your shoulder_

_Just look over your shoulder_

_I'll be there always_

 

**Author's Note:**

> "Disney wasn't meant for this incest shit." A quote from my sister while I was writing this. XD and I mean she isn't wrong lol, then again have you guys read the real tales behind Disney films?
> 
> Anywho, Roci and Doffy are so great together! I absolutely love them and this song is just so beautiful I could not help myself lol.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Please share your thoughts? See you next time!~


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